Bandwagon, here I come.
I have come to the conclusion that the development-cycle of a web designer must include some form of journal.
So here I am.
New to web design.
Entirely flabbergasted at the incredible stuff out there.
In two words: I'm hooked.
It's like a nasty addiction. I can't shake the feeling that I should be designing. I want to begin writing and never stop. And everything is suffering for it.
I work hard still, but with reluctance, doing what I have been doing for the last 9 months (suffice to say it is not designing web pages).
Several nights during the last week, I found myself sitting at my desk after work, working away at this or that small piece of a page until the wee hours of the morning.
(One night, I got an email from a designer I admire, saying her browser was crashing whenever she tried to go deeper into my site. It took me two and a half days of searching to find the problem. I felt like a joke without a punch line. Where was the rest of me?)
I have spent most of my life "writing" about everything. Often, I don't have the time or the tools to actually write the words down. I'm usually more concerned with capturing the moment for myself. But the few times I have been able to write down what I have been thinking about writing down, it hasn't turned out all that bad.
And I can't imagine a better place to put some of those things than the web. Even (maybe especially) because my counters are not showing high numbers of visitors.
(But then I'm thinking: I need publicity! I need to publish in web journals! I need to enter the inner circle of designers/writers! Blah blah blah--Like I said, I'm being consumed. And I don't really feel that way. I've never been one to work my way into any circles. If they'll have me, they will. If not, I'll just keep on playing.)
The only major problem is this: all of this thinking with no action is putting me in a really bad mood.
How am I ever going to find the time to design my own projects without developing my skills by working as a designer, even a part-time one?
How am I ever going to develop the skills I need to actually start working on web pages for a living?
I'm pooped and discouraged and excited all at once.
I guess it's time to get to work.
